So the other day, I got an email from this online survey place that said $10 guaranteed for the completed survey which would take 30 minutes. At first I was all like yeah, like I’m gonna fall for THAT again. But you know what it’s like – it’s an easy $10 for 30 minutes of answering survey questions! So very tempting! So I clicked on the link provided for the survey. The page that loaded asked me if my name was so and so, which was correct, so I clicked on the button that said “Yes”. And guess what? The next page that came up informed me that they were very sorry that I was not qualified for the survey, but there was a link to go take another survey, which of course didn’t even have any rewards but a sweepstakes entry. So do you think they didn’t like my name or something? Sheesh.
Went to work. A shit load of problems with OS upgrades on the backup servers. Had to restore the old OS from backups. Tired like a son of a bitch. Not a very good day. But I can bill 13 hours overtime this week, which definitely helps. So it’s a good day.
Last night I was looking for something, and came upon a package that was buried underneath some junk. After inspecting the address labels, I still couldn’t determine what could be inside even though I recognized the sender as an online store called Knock Knock, a place which I visit very often usually just to go through the slide shows of their products for fun. I bought fun things from this place before, but never out of necessity, so I had to open the package to find out what I might have ordered a while back and totally erased it from my memory.
It turned out to be 3 books from “The Self-Hurt Series”. I started reading the book titled How To Have An Ill-Behaved Dog (make sure you click on the view slide show link to see what the book looks like). I’m on page 41 right now, and it has been an eye-openning experience. Basically, this book is no nonsense very straightforward How-To guide to make your dog as ill-behaved as possible. From the cover of the book:
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO THE DOG PARK AND wondered, “how do those people achieve such ill-behaved dogs?” Or perhaps you’re thinking about adopting a canine companion and want to start off on the right paw. Whether you’re experienced or new at the pet game, this book will teach you the most innovative techniques for cultivating a dog who doesn’t listen, barks incessantly, and destroys your shoes.
LEARN HOW TO:
Encourage your dog to eat off the counter and beg for table scraps
Develop your dog into a narcissistic extension of your self
Make sure your dog jumps on all visitors
Harness your dog’s natural drives to extract the worst possible behavior with the minimum of effort
My dogs do not need much help in becoming a high level IBDs (Ill-Behaved Dogs), especially Foster. But with the help of this book, I hope I could get him to master most ill behaviors in no time. I say “most” not “all” because he’s at a somewhat disadvantage because he’s been neutered, which is a big no no for cultivating some certain very important ill behaviors.
I’ll report back on this book after I finish it. The other two books are called How To Get Fat and How To Drive Like A Maniac. I know I know I don’t need any such how-to books since I already mastered the arts in both areas and I could probably have written those books myself, but I’d like to know what methods other people use and I’m always willing to learn from others. I’ll also write reviews of these books when I finish reading them.
My Brandy really hasn’t been doing well for the last few days. She has never gotten back to her 100% ever since the crisis last summer when she couldn’t get any food down for a few weeks after a bout of pneumonia. But she had been getting better to, say, her 90% until a couple of weeks ago.
For 4 days in a row, I woke up to the putrid smell lingering all over my house coming from Brandy’s regurgitated food overnight. Not only that, whenever she has it this bad, she also has diarrhea, which the vet couldn’t find a reason for. I can’t give her Reglan, a motility medication that helps her keep the food down, because she’s having diarrhea. I have to give her diarrhea medication, which interferes with her food going down.
Her esophagus must be burning cause she’s drinking a ton of water, which again, doesn’t go down very well either and most of it comes back out, which makes her drink more. She’s miserable. Seeing her like that makes me feel like crap.
Please pray for her. She’s suffering.
After seeing Georgia’s pictures I posted in Georgia’s Birthday entry yesterday, somebody pointed out to me that one of the pictures has an uncanny resemblance to Santa’s little helper dog in The Simpsons. Since I hade not seen the said dog, I had to google it to see who Santa’s little helper dog was. Well, I have to say that Georgia does look like him somewhat in the picture below. What do you think? Haha…
Today is Georgia’s birthday. She turned 6 years old. She acts like a puppy though, to make up for the puppyhood she never had, I guess.
She might never become a so-called “normal” dog, she might develop an unreasonable fear of any object at any given time, she might poop whenever she sees another person other than me for the rest of her life, she might dig holes in the yard to get buried rocks and such, she might keep me awake all night stepping, sitting, standing on my body during thunderstorms, she might smear her poop all over my car every single time she’s in it. She might always be somewhat not quite there yet.
But she doesn’t fear poop at home at all any more even when I’m angry and yell on the phone. She jumps and circles with such unsuppressable and joyful barks that echoes through the whole neighborhood whenever I get home after hours of absence or after 2 minutes to fetch my mails. She runs to me at full speed to get some lovin’ she so very much deserves for having peed or pooped in the yard. She doesn’t try to run away from me when I approach her by walking as opposed to crawling. She SITS when she wants her neck scratched. She presents me her hiney to be scratched so that she can start the butt dance. She stalks and play attacks other dogs and even me.
She’s not quite there yet and she might never get there, but it’s more than enough for me.
I love her.
Happy Birthday, Georgia!
Last week, I signed up with a couple of online survey sites that claim to pay money per survey completed. Well, it certainly couldn’t hurt and I could use the money, oh how I could use the money! I had to fill out numerous questionnaires about myself in profile section so that they could match surveys better suited for me. Soon (when I say soon, I mean not a minute after signing up) I started getting emails about surveys they wanted me to participate in. I thought to myself who knew I could make some extra money so easily? Well, I was wrong… of course…
Most of the surveys, I’d say 9 out of 10, either do not specify what the rewards are, or say that the reward is an entry for their sweepstakes upon completing the survey, which by the way, takes 20 minutes to complete. Uhh… no, I’m not about to waste 20 minutes for any stinking sweepstakes entry and I don’t remember seeing anything about being paid a sweepstakess entry instead of money?
Now, the remaining 1 out of 10 surveys says something like $5 or $1 or $0.25 guaranteed for the completed survey, which takes, again, 20 minutes. I pondered a while to determine if $5 or $1 or $0.25 is worth spending my precious 20 minutes, and decided that I couldn’t go any lower than $1 per 20 minutes.
Then I proceeded to take those surveys which would pay me $1 or up guaranteed upon completion. I’d consider that 20 minutes well spent for some easy, though very little, extra income. Well, dead wrong again. After asking questions for several minutes, which I of course sincerely answer, it tells me that I’m not qualified for the survey, thanks me for my time, and tells me I’ve been rewarded with one sweepstakes entry. Huh? Basically so far, I’ve spent a few hours all together filling out these surveys and have nothing to show for. A sweepstakes entry? What are you joking? I spent a few hours for entries for sweepstakes? Bunch of lying thieves!
To be fair, I do need to mention that I finally did qualify for a total of whopping ONE survey. Yup, I felt like I achieved nirvana at last! The questions were about the IT division of the company I work for. Since I’m in IT, I merrily answered my way to the end of the survey where it asked “What’s the name of your company?” WTF??? I mean, is it even legal? What are you friggin’ kidding me? Do they think I’m stupid or something? Like anybody in their right mind with a half a brain who do not wish to be fired or sued or ass kicked or get someone’s foot up the ass is going to answer that?
So I had to stop at that point after spending my 20 minutes on filling out this survey. I’m sure these people put that question at the very end on purpose so that they can get answers to the things they want to know first, then not pay people by having them drop the survey on their own. Bastards.
About a month or so ago, my friend Whitney posted a joke on a message board I frequent. Just thinking about this joke makes me smile, or sometimes laugh out loud when there is nobody around to think I’m crazy. Just now this joke somehow crept into my consciousness again and made me chuckle. So I thought I’d share it.
An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring all that evolution had created. “What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!” he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodiak brown bear beginning to charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him.
“OH MY GOD! …”
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the river stopped moving …
As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from all around…
“YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON’T EXIST AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER?”
Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, “It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?”
“VERY WELL.” Said God.
The light went out.
The river ran.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
… and the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:
“Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive…”
… if I had not cooked this past weekend because I didn’t make an entry about it, I did. But I didn’t want to bore you with the same exact recipe as the week before. Yes, I made jambalaya again. I already had all the ingredients except peppers and onion. I made it a little spicier putting more cayenne pepper and Red Hot sauce. It’s delicious. Heavenly. Try it.
Brooklyn started blowing her coat. Clumps after clumps of fur being shed. For days. Understandably she scratches all over her body. Now the part I don’t understand is this. How is it possible for a dog to shed 12 times as much hair as the hair on her body?????
Serious Stuff. Seriously
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.NaNoWriMo
Yeah, I'm gonna try this time. I must be crazy... not surprisingly.
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