Who knew I’d ever be able to wake up before the alarm goes off every morning? Which by the way pisses the crap out of me since I would like to keep sleeping until the time I absofuckinglutely need to get up. I’ve been living on 5 hours or so of sleep a day, give or take 30 minutes, for a few months now. It’s driving me bonkers! I’m tired like a son of a bitch and walk around like a zombie every single day. Even on weekends! I was hoping I could sleep in for the better part of the morning today, and I, poor poor sleep-deprived I, got up too early against my will again. Me, who once was able to sleep 3 days and 4 nights straight only waking up to use bathroom and drink water!!!!! What the heck is going on? Am I to start frequenting diners at 4pm for dinner and go to bed at 7:30pm? I started blaming global warming for this unnatural development, but after thinking it through, I decided it just couldn’t be. As with every unnatural inconceivable unwanted phenomenon last several years, I’m thinking it’s George Doubleyaw’s doings.