Today is Georgia’s birthday. She turned 6 years old. She acts like a puppy though, to make up for the puppyhood she never had, I guess.
She might never become a so-called “normal” dog, she might develop an unreasonable fear of any object at any given time, she might poop whenever she sees another person other than me for the rest of her life, she might dig holes in the yard to get buried rocks and such, she might keep me awake all night stepping, sitting, standing on my body during thunderstorms, she might smear her poop all over my car every single time she’s in it. She might always be somewhat not quite there yet.
But she doesn’t fear poop at home at all any more even when I’m angry and yell on the phone. She jumps and circles with such unsuppressable and joyful barks that echoes through the whole neighborhood whenever I get home after hours of absence or after 2 minutes to fetch my mails. She runs to me at full speed to get some lovin’ she so very much deserves for having peed or pooped in the yard. She doesn’t try to run away from me when I approach her by walking as opposed to crawling. She SITS when she wants her neck scratched. She presents me her hiney to be scratched so that she can start the butt dance. She stalks and play attacks other dogs and even me.
She’s not quite there yet and she might never get there, but it’s more than enough for me.
I love her.
Happy Birthday, Georgia!
Last week, I signed up with a couple of online survey sites that claim to pay money per survey completed. Well, it certainly couldn’t hurt and I could use the money, oh how I could use the money! I had to fill out numerous questionnaires about myself in profile section so that they could match surveys better suited for me. Soon (when I say soon, I mean not a minute after signing up) I started getting emails about surveys they wanted me to participate in. I thought to myself who knew I could make some extra money so easily? Well, I was wrong… of course…
Most of the surveys, I’d say 9 out of 10, either do not specify what the rewards are, or say that the reward is an entry for their sweepstakes upon completing the survey, which by the way, takes 20 minutes to complete. Uhh… no, I’m not about to waste 20 minutes for any stinking sweepstakes entry and I don’t remember seeing anything about being paid a sweepstakess entry instead of money?
Now, the remaining 1 out of 10 surveys says something like $5 or $1 or $0.25 guaranteed for the completed survey, which takes, again, 20 minutes. I pondered a while to determine if $5 or $1 or $0.25 is worth spending my precious 20 minutes, and decided that I couldn’t go any lower than $1 per 20 minutes.
Then I proceeded to take those surveys which would pay me $1 or up guaranteed upon completion. I’d consider that 20 minutes well spent for some easy, though very little, extra income. Well, dead wrong again. After asking questions for several minutes, which I of course sincerely answer, it tells me that I’m not qualified for the survey, thanks me for my time, and tells me I’ve been rewarded with one sweepstakes entry. Huh? Basically so far, I’ve spent a few hours all together filling out these surveys and have nothing to show for. A sweepstakes entry? What are you joking? I spent a few hours for entries for sweepstakes? Bunch of lying thieves!
To be fair, I do need to mention that I finally did qualify for a total of whopping ONE survey. Yup, I felt like I achieved nirvana at last! The questions were about the IT division of the company I work for. Since I’m in IT, I merrily answered my way to the end of the survey where it asked “What’s the name of your company?” WTF??? I mean, is it even legal? What are you friggin’ kidding me? Do they think I’m stupid or something? Like anybody in their right mind with a half a brain who do not wish to be fired or sued or ass kicked or get someone’s foot up the ass is going to answer that?
So I had to stop at that point after spending my 20 minutes on filling out this survey. I’m sure these people put that question at the very end on purpose so that they can get answers to the things they want to know first, then not pay people by having them drop the survey on their own. Bastards.
About a month or so ago, my friend Whitney posted a joke on a message board I frequent. Just thinking about this joke makes me smile, or sometimes laugh out loud when there is nobody around to think I’m crazy. Just now this joke somehow crept into my consciousness again and made me chuckle. So I thought I’d share it.
An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring all that evolution had created. “What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!” he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13-foot Kodiak brown bear beginning to charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow, he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest, he tried to run faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him.
“OH MY GOD! …”
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the river stopped moving …
As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from all around…
“YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON’T EXIST AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER?”
Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, “It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian?”
“VERY WELL.” Said God.
The light went out.
The river ran.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
… and the bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:
“Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive…”
… if I had not cooked this past weekend because I didn’t make an entry about it, I did. But I didn’t want to bore you with the same exact recipe as the week before. Yes, I made jambalaya again. I already had all the ingredients except peppers and onion. I made it a little spicier putting more cayenne pepper and Red Hot sauce. It’s delicious. Heavenly. Try it.
Brooklyn started blowing her coat. Clumps after clumps of fur being shed. For days. Understandably she scratches all over her body. Now the part I don’t understand is this. How is it possible for a dog to shed 12 times as much hair as the hair on her body?????
Serious Stuff. Seriously
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
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