The other day, my friend Samuel and I somehow started reciting the preamble of the constitution of the United States.

Me: “We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union… What the fuck is ‘more perfect’?”

Samuel: “a little more perfect than perfect”

Me: “How does that make sense? I mean, perfect is perfect. If something was perfect, then there can’t be anything more perfect.”

Samuel: “It means it was perfect, but they wanted something a little better.”

Me: “If there IS something a little better, then it wasn’t perfect to begin with. It was imperfect.”

Samuel: “It was perfect but they wanted just a little tweak.”

Me: “How can you argue with me on this? You KNOW I’m right, cough as always cough. What is ‘more perfect’? It doesn’t make any sense! You mean to say there is perfect, and more perfect and the most perfect? Why didn’t they go for ‘the most perfect’ in that case? Huh? Huh?”

Samuel: “I’m not arguing! I’m saying that’s what they meant.”

Me: “Whatever,…. We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity,… You know that word is weird, man.”

Samuel: “What?”

Me: “Posterity”

Samuel: “Why”

Me: “It reminds me of posterior. Couldn’t they use some other word or something? It feels like I’m saying ‘and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our asses’, you know what I mean?”

Samuel: “No, I don’t.”

Me: “OK, then how about ‘and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our fat asses’?”

Samuel: “Yeah I get it.”