Having encountered no traffic on my way home today, when I let the dogs out, it was still bright outside. I decided that I’d bring my laptop outside and do some surfing, etc. I cleaned a corner of the patio table and powered it up and happened to glance towards the umbrella, which hadn’t been open since last fall. I did a double take, for there seemed to be two dozen or so of insects sitting at one spot. So I touched the umbrella stand to make it move to shoo off those insects.
OH. MY. GAWD. It wasn’t two dozen, it seemed more like in the order of hundreds. Suddenly chills ran down my spine with that feeling of being ambushed, of course these bugs would try this, try to blindside me, for 2 years of being slaughtered mistaken for mosquitoes, of course they’d try an ambush, they clearly outnumber my lone self! I hurried inside and grabbed Clorox Bleach spray I bought a few weeks ago because mosquito season is upon us and therefore I have to slowly build my ammunitions required for my bloody war on mosquitoes. I started spraying the umbrella. Hundreds of them dropped to the table, and what do you know? It was not an ambush, but an orgy! They were all friggin mating!
My realization of what these bugs were doing on my patio umbrella fueled my anger towards these bugs. They must have strategized to make more little bugs to build bigger troops! What a nerve! I sprayed like a mad woman – no need to point out to me I AM a mad woman, I know. It’s just an expression. And in my attempt to not miss any spot, I undid the string that held the umbrella. OH. MY. GAWD. AGAIN!!!!! I was mistaken. Thousands upon thousands, not hundreds, of bugs were dropping down to the table, most of them still locked in mating position. When that bottle of Clorox Bleach got nearly empty, I couldn’t find any more live bugs on the umbrella, and the table was covered with dead or dying bugs, rendering the table almost black. It was one disgusting scene, thousands of bugs on one flat surface of maybe 4ft by 2ft table. Ruined my appetite completely, which, I hate to admit, is not a bad thing at all. My hands still smell like Clorox though after washing them a dozen times already.
12 Comments to “Ahhh The Spring”
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Serious Stuff. Seriously
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| yoonamania |
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You should have taken a picture.
Yeah, it crossed my mind, but my camera hasn’t been charged for a couple of weeks, which means it was dead at the time.
So, what kind of bugs were they? We’ve had our share over here…ick.
I don’t know what kind. I usually call all those small bugs gnats because the bugs I can name/distinguish could be counted using my 10 fingers, but they seemed to be a little bigger than gnats.
Did they have wings?
Yes.
I bet you they’re the same icky things I killed.
They were mating so most of them couldn’t move fast or fly away, so they just fell on the table. eeeek.
Hahahahahahahahaha! Everyone around me wonders what I’m laughing at now. Thanks!
Unfuckingbelievable!!! I had to spray the thing again! This time it looked to be just a thousand or two, but still!!! WTF? TGIF because I’ll have time to take that thing outta there and throw it out tomorrow.
They sound like gnats. Around here, gnats come in all sizes. All of which are perfect for fitting into ears, eyes, noses, mouths, etc. Yesterday I was walking Benny and he was stopping to sniff something and they were all swarming around me. Ugh, it’s gnat season already.
But you know, this whole thing was pretty funny to imagine. Yoon killing a swarm of gnats that were in the middle of an orgy, while your four dogs romped in the yard beyond….
Only two dogs in the yard. Today was funnier, though not as disgusting, because these creatures were concentrated on top of the umbrella this time – do you thing they intentionally moved up…? – and I kept going up and down the patio chairs to spray them. I tell ya, these things are serious about their orgy.