If I Didn’t Know Better

I would have thought this paper belonged to Tortilla. Sure the student’s name is Brian, but I believe she is perfectly capable of writing somebody else’s name on an exam paper. Yes, I have faith in her. The reason I didn’t, though, is of course the perfect score. I’m not saying she is not capable of getting a perfect score. Not at all! But knowing that she has been having trouble with chemistry, it’s very unlikely that she would have gotten a perfect score in none other than chemistry and not blogged about it.

Click on the image for a larger view.

I found that some people I showed it to had some trouble reading the kid’s handwriting. So I’ll type it out below.

First problem: Tortilla Brian writes on the left, “This class makes me lose faith in humanity. =( ” On the right, he gives the real answer.

Second problem: He writes, “Equilibrium (boring); Thermodynamics (boring), Kinetics (bow-chicka-wow-wow)”

Third problem: He writes, “A chemical compound always contains exactly the same proportion of elements by mass. Unrelated, I saw my T.A., Jimmy, kissing a dude at a party last Friday.” Note that he underlined the word “dude” multiple times.

Fourth problem: He writes, “The chick in front of me is wearing a whit-lace Victoria’s Secret T thong.” on the left. The correct answer is on the right.

Last problem for extra credit (where the teacher misspells the word ‘accuracy’): He writes, “dildo” under the third diagram.