I hate Halloween. I absolutely despise Halloween. And I’m not even going to describe how crazy my dogs get whenever somebody knocks or ring the bell or talk loud outside or yell trick-or-treat right outside the door.
Anybody who knows me well enough knows that I’m not fond of kids. So I don’t have kids and I don’t plan on having kids. Now because I don’t want the responsibility of having kids, they tax me more so that people WITH kids can pay less tax. And then I pay almost $10,000 a year for school tax, the school for kids I do NOT have. And then, they demand that I spend MY money to buy other people’s kids candies.
OK, fine. What the fuck. I’ll pay more tax than people with kids because they must have more expenses than I do. I don’t mind helping out like that. And ok, I’ll even accept that I’ll pay the same school tax as the people with kids who actually go to these schools, too, because I’d rather have good schools around me than bad ones. Fine. And you know what? I’ll even leave the candies out for the kids one day a year if the chaperoning adults would make sure each kid takes only one or two. But NOOOOOOO, that never happens. Because, you know, that would be TOO FUCKING CONSIDERATE!!!!
I do not like being blackmailed into giving out candies. When I get home from work at 7 or 7:30 in the evening, my house is already shaving creamed and egged all over. If I leave them out during the day so that the kids take a couple of candies conscientiously, my house is shaving creamed and egged all over because it takes just one greedy kid to run off with the entire booty. Do they want me to take a fucking day off from work and lose a day’s pay just to give out candies I bought with my money to kids who go to school funded by the tax I paid without having no use for the school for myself at all?
I hate fucking Halloween.
Yesterday morning, Brandy attacked Georgia. Brandy was gnawing on a little tree branch and she walked away sniffing around and doing something else. Georgia went over to the tree branch and started gnawing on it. Brandy saw it and she jumped on Georgia. I got Brandy off of Georgia pretty fast without any injury to myself, but Georgia’s lone front leg was bleeding profusely. I had to separate Brandy first to do anything with Georgia, so I put her inside a crate, picked up the rolled bandage and ran back outside. I have never seen so much blood in my whole life and I seriously thought I was going to lose Georgia from losing too much blood.
I put the bandage on her and drove to the nearest emergency vet where they clipped the wound and examined it. Then the attending veterinarian thought it was best for a surgeon to open up Georgia’s leg because there were just too much blood coming out and was worried about damages to any ligaments or nerves. I called my vet Dr. L, and drove Georgia over where she opened her up and confirmed there were no permanent damage, it was just that the bite was to the largest vein in her leg. They put a drain in her leg so that the blood accumulated in her leg would drain out and I was told that she’s doing well. I either pick her up later today depending on how much the swelling goes down.
Brandy will have another thorough check up on Saturday because of her recent aggression. Besides, I’ve been worried about her general health since now she smells like a dog. For those who are going “isn’t Brandy a dog?” Yes, she is. But ever since I’ve switched all my dogs to prey model raw diet, they just stopped smelling like a dog even when they are soaking wet. But now Brandy smells like a dog and I just know something’s not right on top of her pneumonia and on top of her bacterial overgrowth (her stool is STILL loose). She’s been having accidents over night and now her eyes are so watery she has tear marks under her eyes. I’m really worried.
Life is a bitch and I’m tired of her.
Life has been throwing punches at me left and right and I have been quite overwhelmed by life this year. Looking back, I’ve been whining quite a lot, and my dear little group of readers, I apologize. I don’t even feel like myself any more and I feel I’m even losing the ability to crack jokes about it as a result of every single cell in my body being occupied with dealing with life. I apologize ever more profusely because as you might have guessed, here comes another whiny entry. Please bear with me. I AM trying and trying hard to be positive and to not feel sorry for myself. But some days it gets to be a little too much.
As a matter of fact, I should have been ecstatic today. I should have been walking around with a stupid grin on my face. Because I came home last night to find the letter from INS waiting in the mailbox, with my citizenship interview appointment in December. How long have I been waiting to be a citizen? For about 20 years. For 20 years, I’ve been dutifully paying taxes without representation. Now I’m this close. But do you know what I did upon opening the letter and skimming through its contents? I cried. And my tears were most definitely not the tears of joy or happiness but of frustration. Oh shit! Not now! ANOTHER thing I have to prepare for! Why does it have to be now? I can’t even think straight. Where did I put all these documents that I need to bring there and when am I going to look for them?
It’s funny how the smallest thing could throw you off. I was exhausted yesterday, so I forgot about it pretty soon by sleeping. But I woke up with a heavy heart, found out Brandy had emptied her bladder on one of the dog beds, spewed plentiful variations of the word fuck about 478,399,643,715 times, feeling as if that letter was staring at me while I busied myself to get ready to go to work.
Just yesterday morning, I found myself happier than usual because I received the New York State STAR rebate check that I didn’t know I was getting and told people that it would cover most of Brooklyn’s hospital stay and joked that I needed another three checks like this to cover Brandy’s and my medical expenses. Come to find out today, I was lucky and saved by the check, since without it, I would have been short when making this month’s mortgage payment.
At work, when I finally opened my mouth to talk to a coworker, my tear gates opened and I couldn’t stop crying. And all I could say was, It’s just too much. Too much at the same time. I’m too overwhelmed. The coworker couldn’t say anything for a while, and when he finally replied, the only thing he could say was, I wish you were a millionaire. I stared at him and replied, Yeah… who doesn’t?
Yes, I know. I’ve been trying hard to see it as what it really is — happy and joyful events, as in I would have been short on my mortgage payment but hey look! This rebate check materialized and I’m good now! And I finally get to be a U. S. Citizen and exercise my rights as such! Yippeeeee! and so on… Yes, I’m trying very hard and will be trying hard. But I need to get this out. And again, I apologize.
I’ve been scheming to take the full advantage of my recently shrunken stomach since I can feel it’s already expanding, now that I’m eating normally. For years, I have seen on TV and read articles either online or in magazines about foods with negative calories. In other words, foods that make you burn more calories than they contain when your body tries to digest. So far I have found the following food items to contain negative caloric values.
| Vegetables | Fruits |
|---|---|
| Asparagus Beet root Broccoli Cabbage Carrot Cauliflower Celery Chicory Hot chili pepper Cucumber Garden cress Garlic Green beans Lettuce Onion Radish Spinach Turnip Zucchini |
Apple Apricot Blueberry Cantaloupe Cranberry Grapefruit Honeydew Lemon Lime Mango Orange Papaya Peach Pineapple Raspberry Strawberry Tomato Tangerine Watermelon |
I somehow remembered apple being one of them so I’ve been eating an apple a day. And I have decided that from now on I will;
- eat chips always with spicy salsa (tomato, hot chili pepper, onion and garlic)
- always have pickles (cucumber) with my sandwich from cafeteria
- ask for lettuce, tomato and onion in my sandwich even though I don’t like tomato in sandwiches
- always put either strawberries, blueberries, raspberries or peaches in my cereal
- ask for more lemon wedges with my fish and squeeze them on the fish liberally
That’s all for now, short of eating these dreadful vegetables (I generally despise vegetables) and fruits by themselves. I thought eating lemon sorbet or apple pie or peach cobbler often was pushing it.
My coworker and I went to get coffee this morning shortly after I arrived at work. The said coworker proceeded to snatch up the only scone left in the cafeteria while I was getting my coffee, noting out loud and emphasizing that his was the only scone left there. I paid for my coffee, he for his scone and we came back to our desks.
Thirty minutes or so later:
He, holding the scone: Do you want this?
Me: Why? What’s wrong with it?
He: Nothing’s wrong with it. I just don’t want it.
Me: Then why did you get it?
He: There was only one, and I didn’t want YOU to have it.
Me: So you decided to not only let me have it, but also pay for it?
He, frowning: … um… yeah… I guess…
Serious Stuff. Seriously
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