I had to go to the supermarket on my way home from work yesterday. I came home indignant. I have to say, whenever I go to the supermarket, I come home outraged, full of hatred for inconsiderate, selfish, lazy, uncaring, irresponsible, stupid and downright hostile people. It’s amazing how people can be so callous for no reason at all. Yesterday, these people I saw there were worse than ever! The following are 13 things I muttered to myself or wanted to scream at the people at the supermarket yesterday ALONE.
- Why can’t you just close those damn doors so that the poor old couple can park next to your car instead of staring at them and making them back out and go to another spot, you inconsiderate selfish fuck?
- It doesn’t occur to you that other people might want to pass while you examine the label of each can with your cart blocking the entire aisle?
- When people say “Excuse me,” while you talk on the phone blocking other people from the items they want access to, you are supposed to move your fat ass swiftly out of that area, NOT glare at them moving just half a step.
- We all want to get through this aisle. It would work much better if you ALSO moved your cart to your right while we pass each other instead of you standing firm in the middle of the aisle waiting for me to somehow let you pass cause I ain’t backing out of the aisle or climbing over the shelves. That’s right. See how that works?
- If you don’t move your cart and unblock me and let me get out of here, you are never gonna get to the chicken legs AT ALL. I might get all the remaining chicken legs while I’m blocked in here.
- Is it really necessary to make others wait while you two argue about which frozen food to get?
- Sorry, I got here first. Glaring at me for taking the last carton of milk ain’t gonna make me give it up, bitch.
- Didn’t you just see your kid run his hand through chicken and turkey section with sticky blood everywhere and put his fingers to his mouth?
- I understand you could have missed the find prints on the circular that clearly states only regular Cheerios are on sale. I don’t understand you wasting everybody’s time fighting with the cashier and the manager about it even AFTER you found out.
- I seriously think the time you wasted staring into space while waiting for the person in front of you could have been spent much better on looking for your purse AND your changes at the bottom of your humongous bag.
- Standing so close to me trying to push me forward isn’t going to make the cashier scan my things any faster.
- If you choose to idle your engine right at the curb despite the signs not to, at least get away from the fucking exit so that people with carts can get off the curb!
- The parking spot for the handicapped is NOT where you return your cart, you lazy ass.
A couple of coworkers and I ordered Chinese food to be delivered for lunch today at work. When the delivery guy called me at my desk asking me to come downstairs, I immediately grabbed my wallet and ran 2 flights down to the second floor where there is a security guard station. The guy wasn’t there. I asked the guard. No, he has not seen any Chinese delivery guy. Since the building is on a hill, there is a lobby on the first floor, and I ran down another flight. There was nobody there. I ran up to the second floor again, muttering curse words to myself. Still nobody. I ran down the hall and went outside the building. Still no Chinese delivery guy. Cursing out loud, I ran downstairs again and outside the building. Nobody there. Cursing really loud now, I ran upstairs to the second floor again and this Chinese guy started yelling at me “I saw you go upstairs! I saw you go upstairs! I double-parked outside and I saw you go upstairs!!!”
Uhh… what the fuck?
I proceeded to tell him I did NOT go upstairs, I went downstairs to look for him because he wasn’t there. He kept yelling “I saw you go upstairs! I saw you go upstairs!! I double-parked outside!” I was losing patience, which I don’t really have much in the first place, and started yelling back at him, “You were NOT here, so I went downstairs to see if you were downstairs!” And he proceeded to tell me, “I told you second floor! I told you second floor! I saw you go upstairs!”, to which I yelled back “No, you didn’t tell me you were on the second floor, you were not even in the fucking building!”, to which he STILL yelled at me, “I saw you go upstairs! I double-parked outside! I saw you go upstairs!”
Well, so I had a shouting match with a stupid idiot with temper for a few minutes. Some people are just too fucking stupid to be walking around and mixing with other people because his tip? 80 cents. Not that I WANTED to give him 80 cents, but I didn’t have the exact change. I did think about calling the place and raising hell and secured witnesses – the guard and two other delivery guys waiting at the time. Lucky for the idiot, my coworkers entreated me to let it go, he might lose his job (which I couldn’t care less about), it’s holiday season, have a heart, they will go downstairs to meet the delivery people from now on. So there goes another Chinese take-out place. I have to say, I’m running out of Chinese take-out places to order from.
The moral of the story? Always make OTHER people to do the ordering and picking up the food for you.
I had my citizenship interview on Thursday. The appointment was at 11am in Garden City, NY, which is about an hour drive from my house. Naturally, I left home 3 hours and 10 minutes before the appointment, having woken up early from a very fitful sleep.
For several days, the interview had been on my mind because the official letter listing the documents I should bring with me to the interview listed all travel documents issued by the government of my home country including the expired passports, and of course as a matter of principle, I had no idea where my 20 year old expired passport was. I had my most current one and the one right before. If you know me, you know that I’m not only terribly unorganized, but also a major slob, so looking for this old passport was a tantamount task, you see.
A couple of days before the appointment, resigned to the fact that I wouldn’t be able to find it, I called my lawyer’s office to see what I should do. They informed me that I should just tell them I lost it since I moved around no less than a dozen times and that it’s not really important, BUT it all depends on the interviewer – If the interviewer wants to give me a hard time, he or she will deny me the citizenship. They also told me that I should bring 3 years worth of my tax returns with me even though it’s not on the list of documents I should bring because, again, if the interviewer wants to give me a hard time, they’d ask for it. As you could imagine, the call to the lawyer made me even more agitated and nervous about the interview.
That night, with a stroke of luck, I happened to look inside an old bag I used to carry, and found an old passport, which turned out to be 15 year old expired passport that I didn’t even remember I had. Then a few minutes later I found the 20 year old one as well, on top of my desk in plain sight….
The next day, I made the photocopies since the official letter instructed that I bring the original AND a photocopy of each document. I felt all ready for the interview since I have already jammed 100 sample questions and answers into my brain. But then later in the day, I learned that they have a new set of 100 questions and since I applied before the date they changed the questions, I would have the option of choosing the old test or the new test. Remembering what the lawyer’s office told me about everything depending on the interviewer who might want to give me a hard time, I jammed the new set of questions into my brain as well.
So leaving the house more than 3 hours before the appointment was more than natural, given that it was rush hour and raining. Arriving an hour and 20 minutes early, tired but full of nervous energy, I sat in the waiting room and waited for my name to be called for about 2 hours. Finally my name was called. After 15 minutes of surprisingly pleasant interview, she congratulated me and informed me that I would get a letter in a month or two specifying when and where I should go to take the oath.
I walked out feeling 50 lb lighter but with immense happiness and pride of finally getting over the last hurdle to being a US citizen. Now the only thing left for me to do is to NOT lose my green card because that’s the only thing I need in order to take the oath and get my citizenship. Now REJOICE WITH ME!!!!
As for all those documents and their photocopies? she never asked to see even one of them.
I like stealing from my bubblicious friend perpstu, with her blessing of course. It was her Thursday Thirteen post last week and I immediately acquired her permission to pilfer it. Thanks, perpstu!
In addition to the few I blogged about some time ago, this is a list of thirteen keyword searches, by which you guys ended up at yoonamania, that I find strange or funny.
- peeing mania.com
Well, for some reason, this one gives yoonamania the most hits. So apparently, this site attracts sickos. - what the hell is ansky
This is one of a handful of keywords that matched what I actually blogged about here. - dog peeing on neighbor
None of my dogs has ever peed on a neighbor. - pooping naturally
As opposed to pooping artificially? - turd half way out
Yeah, I have this exact phrase in this post. - dog poops on a baby
So this dog actually seeks out and poops on babies? Why does anybody let it happen anyway? - pooper lovin
This one cracked me up the most. I kept saying it out loud and kept laughing. I know, I need a life. - how to annoy empoyees at work
I really really want to know the person who googled this. We are going to be such best friends! - poop processing
This one made me go hmmm… processing in what way? - infants eating dog poop
Most definitely one of those WHAT THE FUCK? - pee holding
For fun? - “pooping in public” pictures
Whoever you are, you are truly sick. - poop on wee wee anal picture
I have no words. Really? You want to see this picture?
Hey… anybody notice a recurring theme here…? Hmm…


