I dragged myself out of bed this morning and headed out to go to work through my usual route. But before reaching the highway, I was forced to make a left into some local road I’m familiar with, because of some police activity up ahead. Not knowing which way I should go, I followed the cars in front of me because they all seem to know where they were going, and no, why would the fact that they might not be headed towards the highway cross my mind? It didn’t. I was lost less than 10 minutes away from my house.

When I finally found my way back, I could tell I’d be 20 to 30 minutes late for work. Oh fuck, this is just fucking fabulous. The first day back to work this year. What a great fucking start already… I grumbled. I grumbled and got annoyed by people driving slow in the first lane. I was annoyed and aggravated by people who seemingly don’t know how to drive in between the lines. I was in a foul mood. Remembering my new year’s resolution but couldn’t see any positive at the time, I tried to calm myself and uplift my mood by reciting those eternal words of wisdom by Frank Costanza — Serenity now… Serenity now…

I changed the radio station to find some uplifting music and happened to come across the one where the DJ and some others were discussing the story of a woman who won 10 million dollar lotto jackpot  her husband bought prior to his death a few days ago. And naturally, listening to the story that reminded me how I didn’t win the lotto, which would have enabled me to say, hey, I’ll just turn around and drive back home. Work? Pssh…, my mood became fouler. Is that a word? Fouler? More Foul? Anyways, serenity now…

I walked into the office and towards my desk looking at the clock which pointed out I was 23 minutes late. I frowned and heaved a sigh… Oh wait. What do I see? What? Is that desk next to mine a little too strangely clean? Yes, the one that belongs to the coworker who I despise with burning passion. Doesn’t that look a little too empty…? No monitor? No docking station? Could this be? COULD THIS BE? Holy crap that’s ever seen the light of this glorious day! I won’t have to waste my energy in trying to avoid and put as much distance as possible from him from now on! I won’t sprain my eyeballs anymore from glaring at him in meetings where he always has answers and comments and recommendations on anything and everything he has never worked with before! I don’t have to scream and yell at the him as to make the whole office eerily quiet for taking ridiculously long time to do a simple task and make all of us in our team look like fools because he would never admit he doesn’t know how to accomplish something! I can sit and eat at any table in the cafeteria! This is Merry Christmas all over again!

Serenity can bite my fat ass. The bitch is gone. This year is shaping up to be just fine, I say.