I’m not really a crazy dog lady… yet. I don’t carry on conversations with my dogs… on a daily basis. But there are somethings I say to them on a daily basis other than Sit or Down kinda simple commands – complete sentences and questions I expect them to understand and sometimes expect answers. I get a little tired of being ignored and not getting answers, but I’m waiting for one of them to finally blurt out one of these days, “Oh shut up!”
The following is a list of thirteen of those things I say to my dogs:
- Be careful! I blurt it out quite often because, you know, I don’t want them to get hurt, quite naturally.
- What’s your problem? When somebody doesn’t stop barking after my “Enough” or “Quiet”, I have to resort to reasoning.
- See, I told you! You never listen! Usually Brooklyn gets this mocking remark from me when she has to pee and poop under heavy rain after refusing to pee or poop because of wet grass or light rain in spite of my repeated warning of possible heavier rain in the near future.
- What are you doing? Because you know, I sometimes get curious and don’t want to move to see what they are doing. I do expect an answer.
- Get a room, will ya? Cause sometimes I think they should do certain activities in private.
- What happened? I do like to know what happened when somebody suddenly cries out and whines. Wouldn’t you?
- Where do you think you’re going? Come on, it’s funny when they bolt past you and then can’t go anywhere but wait for you walk slowly taking your sweet time to open the door or the baby gate for them.
- Did you pee/poop? Sometimes I get distracted and don’t notice if one peed/pooped or not. I gotta know.
- Where did you poop? When someone pulls of sneak-a-poo routine while I’m not looking. Again, I gotta know.
- Did you just fart? I usually know who farted when, but you know there are silent but deadly kinds.
- I’m coming, I’m coming. They get anxious and whine when I deliver their food one at a time to each location. I do have to assure them that they will not starve to death.
- Where does it itch? Here? Here? It’s hard to see and do nothing when they try to scratch or nibble where they can’t reach.
- I love you too but not THAT way. Foster tends to get too happy and excited to see me and be pat, and his red rocket gets launched sometimes. It’s my way of gently letting him down.
1. First list item starts here…
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13 Comments to “I Love You Too But Not That Way (TT#8)”
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That was a great TT entry! If I had a dog, I imagine my conversations with him or her would go the same way. Though I have asked and/or said to my kids some of the very same things!
Happy TT!
What a funny list. I”m not a dog person but even I can imagine saying a few of these to a dog throughout the day.
i have 2 dogs and i’ll say things like:
“Really Maisie? Do you need to chew up that box?”
“Are you happy now?” after box is chewed up.
“Stop licking your hoo” when they’re cleaning themselves. Ew. I just don’t want to see it. lol!
i do have real-life friends though, too, i swear!
*sneak-a-poo* is cracking me
I talk to my furr-babies all the time. They know what we’re saying, as evidenced by them looking when the appropriate name is called, understanding ‘do you want a piece of turkey’ means run to the kitchen as fast as possible to get the best piece, and ‘are you hungry’ means i’m gonna get out of bed and feed them … as soon as i can see straight. LOL
This post is every day of my life. ‘cept I know I’m the crazy dog lady (and I only have one dog). Last week I was standing in the middle of our newly fenced in yard in my night gown at 6am trying to convince my pug that he is a big baby if he doesn’t walk out on the wet grass and have a poopy, but he would not leave the sidewalk and let his dainty paws get wet.
I’m constantly saying, “What do you have in your mouth?” because pugs will eat anything. Also, “Who ARE you barking at?” And when it gets quiet, “Where’s Loki?” Oh, and my favorite, when he tries to bark but it comes out sounding like a hairball cough instead, “See? That’s why you shouldn’t bark the neighbors while you’re eating popcorn! Karma!”
Also, I ask him questions all the time that have nothing to do with him — like what he thinks about the new curtains or how he feels about the stimulus package. When this happens, he usually gives me a thoughtful but perplexed, head-tilted look as if he’s still considering the ramifications of whether or not we should buy a new television at this time.
I love my dog. He’s smarter than he pretends. I’m fairly sure he understands everything we say.
Happy TT!
I do or have said the same things to my kids, except 5 (thank Gawd) and 13.
I just want to clarify in case “certain activities that should be done in private” is mistaken to include any acts unbecoming spayed and neutered dogs. When I kept Georgia and Brooklyn they used to lick each other thoroughly and endlessly, including even INSIDE the mouth.Now Georgia likes to lick Foster all over, not excluding his thingmajig, the money maker. That’s what I’m referring to in number 5.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! that’s awesome!!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?
I yell that to Arabella all the time.
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that was one of a kind meme
13 lessons of love and humor in life
BWAHAHAHA! I love your crazy household!