Move Your Bloomin’ Arse or Get Out of the Way!

With schools back in session in full swing this week, the volume of traffic is also back to its usual horrendous level from a slight lull last couple of months. And with this traffic, the type of drivers who frustrate the living hell out of me are out and about in full swing as well. I’m talking about this one type of drivers who drive me absolutely batty with their inconsiderateness or obliviousness or callousness or spitefulness or simply just viciousness by blocking the flow of traffic – Those who drive in the leftmost lane leaving a mile of empty space in front and with a stretch of cars trailing behind them in utter frustration. When I’ve been driving 10mph slower than the speed limit on the leftmost lane for a few minutes because traffic is moving slow then look up to see all the way over there a mile ahead there is absolutely empty space spread across the highway, the access to which is blocked by a car in each lane driving leisurely at the exact same speed? Oh the things I want to do to those who create the slow-moving wall of cars on the highway!

I don’t know if you heard about the Montana No Speed Limit Safety Paradox:

The desired safety effect from posting speed limits was achieved by removing them.

This paradox came from the results of the study done by Montana DOT, which revealed some very interesting facts  such as:

• The fatality rate in highway accidents decreased during the time there was no speed limit.
• More people used seat belts.
• Posted speed limits had either zero or negative effect on traffic safety.

Well, not so paradoxical to me. I think it’s because of those drivers I mentioned above. We all know fast moving vehicles on the left and slow moving vehicles on the right. With a speed limit, people drive as slow as they like on the leftmost lane, and think it’s their right, no matter how other people want to go past them. And I can just hear them say, hey, I’m driving already at a legal speed, you go around if YOU want, but I’m not fucking budging from my RIGHTFUL place. I have the right to drive in this lane! But withOUT a speed limit, these selfish people have to get out of the way since they don’t have the right to drive spitefully in the left lane. So with these these people out of the way and not blocking the flow of the traffic, less people try stupid reckless things with mounting frustration, tailgating, maneuvering to get in and out of lanes literally pushing cars off the lanes, trying to drive as fast as possible to close that gap and squeeze in, towards that promised wide open space a mile ahead of that moving wall. And then if and when they finally clear that wall, they take off dangerously fast to make up the lost time and to shake that frustration off and behind with that spiteful fuck.  No wonder the fatality rate decreases and people drive at more leisurely paces that suit them under no speed limit.

I don’t care how fast you are driving. If you’re driving in the leftmost lane at the same exact speed or slower than the other lane(s), you not only create traffic behind you, but also increase fatality rate. People need to change lanes. People need to get on the highway or get off the highway. People need to merge. So a half of  mile behind you, people have to drive 40mph on a highway because you are so fucking callous. Get the fuck out of the left lane if you are blocking the traffic flow for fuck’s sake.