As some of you know, Brandy’s megaesophagus makes her regurgitate food from now and then, even after being held upright for an hour after a meal. It’s the way it is and there is nothing anybody can do about it but for me to clean up the mess.
And Brandy’s stool never recovered its roll-on-the-floor-rock-hard consistency after that scary episode almost 2 years ago when every morsel of food she ate came back up for more than a month. I guess her digestive system got a shock when it finally got to see some food. So she gets about a cup of yogurt everyday with her meal, but still her stool is frequently loose enough for me to make bald spots on the lawn to pick off all blades of grass (and weeds… well, OK, mostly weeds) with fecal matter on it.
So when the name Poop Freeze caught my eye while I was going through hundreds of “As Seen On TV” products trying to remember the names of the various products for Sucker I Am post yesterday, I was like, could it be? Could this really be??? The description confirmed that it is in fact what I hoped it would be – You spray it on poop, hair balls, or vomit, etc, and it freezes it down to -62°F so you can clean it up with ease. What a brilliant idea! What an excellent way to improve my everyday life! My life WILL be happier! What an exceptional find!
Supposedly, there was or has been or still is an infomercial on TV for Poop Freeze. And let me tell you, if I had seen the infomercial you can bet your bottom dollar that I would have ordered it before the infomercial was over. Then why haven’t I ordered it yet, you might wonder. Well, it lacked the magic of infomercial. I need to see it work on screen. I need to hear people’s testimonies, you understand.
Then why haven’t I clicked on the infomercial link and watch it online? Frankly, I’m afraid to watch it. Cause I KNOW I’m going to HAVE to order it once I did – there is no if’s, and’s or but’s about it, and writing that Sucker I Am post kinda sobered me up to the fact that I’m an infomercialaholic.
What I’m trying to get at, actually, is this – Anybody willing to try it and let me know if it works? Anyone? Anyone?
Brandy just farted. The cutest thing. She farts, looks towards her hiney and cocks her head to one side questioningly. Every single time. Which means if she farts again while she’s giving her butt an interrogating head cock, she cocks her head to the other side. And of course in the case of the multiple farts, it gets pretty hilarious. After all this time, she hasn’t quite figured it out.
Brooklyn, of course, doesn’t fart in my company because it’s totally beneath her.
Foster, who one would guess as the funniest farter, is disappointingly nonchalant when he farts. If he happens to be standing up, he takes a couple of quick steps forward and turns his head to look at his butt and then throws a sidelong glance towards me as if to see if I’ve noticed it. But if he happens to be lying down, he doesn’t even move his head, but only his eyes move for a quick glance at me for a second.
The most comical is Georgia, who usually tries to blame it on the one situated closest to her butt, who somehow is always me. If she farts sitting or lying down, she jumps up as if scared, with an OMG! WTF! kinda look, turns around and sniffs all around me, then suddenly retreats and walks away and sits down a few feet away from the offending spot, and stares at me for a long time with a disgusted accusatory look on her face.
Aren’t they so exactly like people or what?
Long awaited snow, the right kind –the sticking kind– came Friday. I was ecstatic at the prospect of 4 to 6 inches of snow because my poor deprived dogs hadn’t had decent snow for some time. It snowed all day starting around 10am. Then it changed to sleet and rain by the time I headed home. I was not happy. This was what happened the last time, the time before AND the time before – snow followed by rain. What good is snow when you have to freeze your fat ass while cleaning your car and waste twice as long a time in driving home if at the end all you got is just slush and mud?
Fortunately, when I finally reached home, I found that it hadn’t rained too much in this area. We had a few inches of snow and it wasn’t slushy at all, and the rain turned to snow again. Dogs loved it. They ran around with white snow around the muzzle. I threw snowballs for them. They chased them and got confused when the snowballs landed and disappeared. They pounced on a “snowball” and looked around and pounced on a phantom snowball again and searched for it with their nosed buried in the snow and sometimes dug the snow to see if the ball hid itself. And my laughter rang out quite out of tune with the snow shoveling noise in the otherwise quiet neighborhood.
It was pure joy and happiness I’ve had in a long time.
This week has been absolutely exhausting, and this is my excuse for not updating the blog and not keeping up with reading others’ blogs these days.
I got Foster back on Sunday and since I do not trust my dogs to behave and not get into fights when I cannot supervise directly (as opposed to when I’m not at home) at this point, I’m all over the place once I get home. I keep Georgia and Foster together when I’m in the same room or take them outside. Foster has never showed any aggression or irritation towards Georgia, but I’m still too shaken by my experience from last month, I don’t leave them together if I can’t be there with them. I do not trust Brandy and Brooklyn at all with Foster or Georgia, and so I’m pretty busy trying to spend time with everyone of them, and take them outside separately.
This Monday, I started commuting to the new location to which IT division moved. I’m still working 10am – 6pm instead of noon – 8pm as I blogged before because my boss told me to come in at 10am and see how it goes. The first day, there were several empty spots as I predicted because consultants were too scared to take their cars, and therefore, a lot of them opted to take the shuttle bus. The second day, there were 3 spots left. The third day, I took the very last spot, the furthest corner of the parking lot from the building – I knew then that I would have trouble the next day. The word is getting out that there are still parking spots at 10am! So come yesterday, 20 minutes BEFORE 10am, I couldn’t find a consultant spot. I called my coworker to relay the situation, and I was going to just idle engine and sit there, reading the book I have been carrying with me for just that. But while I was on the phone, the security guard hired by the company to enforce the atrocious parking rules walked over and told me to park in one of those numerous empty employee spots. I guess he didn’t get the memo, but hey, I have his blessing to park in the employee spot if there is no empty consultant spot left from now on. So life goes on until the word gets out to more consultants causing the employees to start complaining about lack of parking spots.
All in all, I have been sleeping even worse than before because I’ve been worried about the fucking parking spot every single day. Hopefully I get some more rest next week.
Serious Stuff. Seriously
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