So I’m trying to get on with my life. I’ve been depressed and miserable. Losing Grizzley hit me hard. He’s been with me 14 years and I spent more time with him than with anybody else in my adult life if not my whole life. I loved him and he loved me probably much more than I loved him. He could not stand not to be able to touch me. His favorite place to loll about was my neck and shoulder area. His favorite pastime was to knead on my hair purring up the storm. I’m still having a hard time and I haven’t been able to go into “his” room yet. If you are one of those who are itching to say “it’s JUST a cat!”, don’t say it because I will surely hate you and wish you a very slow and painful death.
Anyway.
Getting back to blogging is one of the first things I’ve thought of as a way to get on with my life. Oh well, it’s the only thing, actually. But I’ll start with this although I find it hard to blog after a long break.
Grizzley bounded back up again. This morning, he was occupying his usual morning lounging place on top of a small cat condo in the room upstairs basking in the morning sun light, where he hadn’t had the strength to go up for a couple of days prior. He ate a good amount, not as much as usual, but not too shabby. When I was leaving for work, he was back in his morning lounging place.
A diuretic has been added to his daily medication. I will probably take him back to the vet on Friday or Saturday so that I don’t have to run to the emergency vet clinic Saturday night or on Sunday.
Thank you so so very much for your prayers, thoughts, love and support. It means a lot and we appreciate it so so very much.
Grizzley is again at the vet. I stayed up until five this morning trying to decide if it’s time. I don’t want him to suffer needlessly but I don’t want to put him down if he’s still fighting and hasn’t given up.
As much as I watched him, I couldn’t tell. He kept going to his food bowls, a little too often, tried to eat, but couldn’t eat more than a bite. Yesterday he probably ate about a quarter of the amount he normally eats. He couldn’t stay lying in one position for more than 10 minutes at a time. He couldn’t make himself comfortable. He made sounds that resembles moaning or groaning sounds when he changed his position. He was alert. He started purring as soon as my hand touched him. He had hard time breathing. He was wobbly. I didn’t know what to do.
My friend, who I made the arrangement with, to drive me to the vet when I have to put Grizzley to sleep, called around 6:45 in the morning to see if he should come to drive me to the vet or he should go to work. I still didn’t know. We decided he should go to work, and see later and he’d leave work early if it had to be done today.
After I took the dogs out, however, Grizzley was following me around in the kitchen, weak as he was and breathing laboriously, rubbing against my ankle and meowing and purring. He still had life in his eyes and he hasn’t given up yet. So I got ready for work, put him in the carrier, drove to the vet and dropped him off so that they could make him more comfortable and take the fluid out of his lungs again. And I’ll have another sleepless night with Grizzley.
Just came back from the emergency vet clinic near me. Grizzley’s breathing started sounding labored a little last night. I decided to take him to Dr. L on Monday since they are closed on Sunday. Towards this evening, however, his breathing was too labored and he started wheezing even. The emergency clinic vet took about 150cc of fluid out of his lungs. I don’t know how it accumulated so much in such a short time without me noticing and he didn’t even lose appetite. What worries me more though, is that his temperature is 3 or 4 degrees lower than normal, which, they say, indicates poor blood circulation. But after taking the fluid out, Grizzley is much more alert and breathing much more freely without making any wheezing sound. He’s now sleeping right next to my butt, and I’m having a drink.
Grizzley has been eating everyday since Monday. He is wobbly and lost about 3lb, but I get to have at least another week with him. Thank you for your prayers and good wishes.
I had to take Grizzley to the vet yesterday morning. He has lost a bit more than a pound since Wednesday, and that would be more than 2 pounds altogether. The vet took 95cc of fluid out of his lungs – she said that she only took total 50cc out on Wednesday because he wouldn’t stay still, so she thinks he’d be comfortable throughout the weekend. We are hoping the upped dosage of prednisone would slow down the fluid forming soon. We just have to wait until the end of next week to see if it’s working.
In the mean time, he ate a tablespoonful of kibbles at the vet. For some reason, he didn’t touch any of the 5 different kinds of premium food – 3 canned and 2 dry – I gave him, but he went for friggin Science Diet. So they gave me a ziplock bag with Science Diet dry food. But at home, he hasn’t touched his food again. He’s not even eating the pill pockets, so the I have the liquid form of prednisone. I have to take him back to the vet on Monday if he doesn’t eat tonight. I’m going to try force feeding him with a syringe anyway.
Please please please pray for him. I need a little more time with him, Just a few more months is all I ask. Please…
Grizzley stayed at the hospital Wednesday night. It turns out that he does have lymphoma and now it has advanced to his chest cavity. The vet took the fluid out of his lungs a few times so he could breathe better and he finally ate something yesterday after starving himself for 2 days. The vet says that once at this stage, the disease advances rapidly and Grizzley has a couple of months at the most unless he decides to surprise us by responding really well to the medications, in which case I might have a few more months with him.
I took him home last night and so far, he has eaten only 2 oz of canned food while normally he should have finished 9 oz. But it might just be that the dosage of prednisone that we quadrupled just 2 days ago hasn’t taken considerable effect yet. If he doesn’t eat substantial amount by tomorrow morning, I have to take him back to the vet tomorrow.
Please please please keep your fingers crossed, say a prayer and send him good vibes so that he at least sees his 15th birthday, 28th of June, and also that his last days are not too painful to him and that I recognize the time to let him go when the time comes.
Georgia saw Dr. L on Friday when the drains came out. Dr. L said her leg looks surprisingly good. But Georgia managed to break the E-collar she was wearing for the second time last night, and took most of the stitches out. I quickly went out and bought some self-sticking bandages and wrapped it up, but she keeps scratching it with her hind leg so that the bandage can’t stay in place. So far the incision hasn’t burst, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
Brooklyn’s wounds look to be all healed just like all of my wounds, which are just a little sensitive. She, so far, seems content most of the time and cries and howls whenever she thinks I’ve been away from her too long or if she hears me taking another dog outside. I’ve been sleeping with her in the bedroom (on the bed Foster marked all over) ever since her fight with Brandy and she seems to be happier to be in the bedroom than the livingroom.
I took Brandy to the vet yesterday to see if anything is wrong with her healthwise which is making her more aggressive. Other than her known health problems, that is. Dr. L found out that Brandy has two cracked teeth. When I say “cracked”, it doesn’t mean the teeth broke where we can see them. The teeth seem to have been pushed outward cracking them above the gum line and then put back to their original place. She said it’s already healing so there is nothing to be done. From the outside, the area near Brandy’s nose where the black nose ends on the right side looks slightly more bulbous than the other side. She couldn’t tell how old the wound is, it’s either from the fight with Brooklyn or when she jumped on Georgia. Dr. L also took three vials of Brandy’s blood to be tested for any diseases that make a dog cranky including 11 tick-borne diseases and thyroid, on top of a full chem panel.
This afternoon when I took Brandy outside, she had a sudden sneezing fit, after which I noticed some blood around her muzzle. Upon inspection, I could see there was blood in her left nostril. I will talk to Dr. L tomorrow.
Foster has been staying with Sam and Houston since the day after I picked up Georgia from the vet. I can’t trust Brandy with any other dog right now and with Georgia’s leg all stitched up and with her E-collar bumping into everything, I didn’t want Foster to play with Georgia either. So I had to separate them all, and Sam volunteered to look after Foster. According to Sam, Foster must miss home since he has never seen Foster so subdued. Poor guy…
Grizzley has been doing well. He’s still on prednisone and eating well and as feisty as ever.
I am exhausted and stressed and broke. And that’s all I have to say about myself.
Serious Stuff. Seriously
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