I renewed my driver’s license over the phone the last couple of times, which is unspeakably more convenient than going to the DMV except that the call is a long distance call to Albany, NY. Not only it’s more convenient, but it also has the benefit of not having to fill out any forms myself. I hate filling out forms. I always have a hard time filling out forms of any kind because I really don’t understand half the questions or what kind of answers they want. I simply despise filling out forms.

But I have been considering going to the DMV the next time or just simply report it lost and get a new license in person. Why you ask? Because I need to get a new picture taken. My picture on my driver’s license looks too much better than real me. I need to have that license photo look either just like my normal self or worse.

The problem is this. The picture was taken more than 15 years ago. Yeah that’s right. I was about 60 pounds lighter, my skin had elasticity, there were no dark baggy under eye circles, etc, etc. Back then I too complained about that license photo and didn’t want anybody to see it. Now I don’t want anybody to see it because it looks so much better!

I’m not kidding and it’s no laughing matter, I tell you. I got caught speeding a few months back and the cop, after giving me two tickets – one for speeding and one for cracked windshield, he asked while holding on to my license, looking at the picture and my face alternately, “And who is this in the picture? Is this you? What’s your birthday?”

Now, I told you it’s NO LAUGHING MATTER! Stop laughing!